Triumph: A Journey of Healing from Incest
Healing the devastation of incsest is like negotiating a dark labyrinth. But the light at the end is a life of dignity and serenity never known before.
Trysh Ashby-Rolls’ childhood was filled with shameful secrets and the confusion of keeping up appearances. It was only after a crippling illness and rare spinal cord surgery that she remembered being beaten and sexually abused by her father as a toddler until age eleven, when she was used in a child pornography ring.
With the help of a feminist therapist, she gradually learned that the abuse was not her fault. Through discovering her child Within, she lovingly reparented and got to know herself. Slowly, reality sank in. Her rage and grief erupted. She wrote letters of confrontation and disclosure to her parents, but quickly realized that “forgive and forget” was not an answer. The questioned the existence of God and discovered a new spirituality.
As Ashby-Rolls changed, so did her relationships. Her son stormed off to live on the streets; the man who had unconditionally loved and support her, until his own pain forced him into recovery, found someone else. She decided to move from downtown Toronto to a cabin in rural British Columbia, write a book and make a new life.
Her self-esteem increased. She learned to love her body, gave up her addictions and compulsions, and successfully combatted insomnia. After reporting her father to the British police, he was arrested. It became safe to remember the worst that happened to her. As she let fo anger and blame, she made peace with her mother and son, and learned to live with paradox.
Healing from incest is never-ending; it is a way of life. Trysh Ashby-Rolls hopes her book will encourage others on a similar journey.
Author: Trysh Ashby-Rolls